Pointing Fingers
by Kate-Emma
Summary: What would have happened if the Sun Hill Fire of 2002 claimed one less victim? If Sam Harker had lived... would he reveal who killed his friends? Version 2
1. Pointing Fingers

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'The Bill'. I am merely a crazy fan!

**A/N**: This is a super old idea. If anyone remembers the explosion at Sun Hill then you'll remember this, if not, well, I'll try and make it as simple to understand as I can.

Sam Harker took a swig from the whisky bottle before the room was plunged into blackness.

Ben Hayward laughed beside him. "Wonder who it was this time?" He grinned into the darkness, his boyish features barely crinkling under the weight of his smile. Of everyone in the room, Ben looked the youngest. And, he was the youngest, even if only by a matter of two years. With brown hair that hung over large brown eyes, he was the most child-like cop at Sun Hill and it was these features and trusting expressions that made him a hit with victims.

"Probably that bloody cleaner." Sam joked, referring to the man that had been re-decorating Sun Hill for the past few days. A surly and rude man, the relief had tried hard to avoid him as much as possible. He didn't make it hard, giving the impression he disliked the police as much as they disliked him and his distant smell of vodka.

Outside there came a barrage of noises and Sam cocked an eyebrow as Kate Spears, having just returned from god-knows-where, smiled up at the emergency back-up lights. They turned the room a strange shade of dark orange, a shade that mixed with the light coming through the windows.

"I'm taking a look outside." Sam stated, turning his attention to the CID balcony that overlooked the back yard.

"Don't do anything stupid." Ben grinned. Paul Riley, a man they had all heard described as the world's most incompetent detective, laughed.

Sam pointed to his chest. "Who? Me?"

Diana Worrell, Sun Hill's sweetheart PC who had stayed behind to clean up the mess created primarily by CID and/or Sam's excessive mope-drinking (he'd worked through half a bottle of vodka and three mouthfuls of whisky so far), joined in the laughter.

Ignoring their taunting Sam backed out onto the balcony and looked down out onto the grounds. Youths with petrol bombs were running everywhere and Sam watched Des Taviner, who hadn't even been at the station party that night, tackle a boy coming over a wall. He grinned and, had he not been so unsteady of his feet, probably would've cheered. Instead he just gripped the railing, drink in his other hand, watching Des kick butt.

As sirens and flashing lights lit up the corner of his eye, Sam turned his attention to the front of the station where SO10 had turned up and were dragging kids away from the building and confiscating petrol bombs out of their bags. The bombs, little more than rags soaked in oil and shoved into a beer bottle, were smashed to the ground harmlessly or taken away for evidence. As the police began to win the war, Sam looked back at Des just as Des started smashing at Monroe's office window.

"What the?" He frowned, unsure what he was seeing. His narrowed his fuzzy eyes, sobering up at what he'd see next. One second there was Des in full cop mode, tackling delinquents and enforcing what they called 'Taviner Law', then the next he'd whipped out his own patrol bomb and lit it, throwing it through the open window of Monroe's smashed office. Sam leant closer to ensure his eyes weren't looking him and it was then that he drew the attention of Des, the bald-headed figure glancing between Sam and the room. He stepped out of sight just as an ominous boom, like something cracking, sounded from below. The balcony shook a little. Then, reality and fear struck both Sam and Des.

"Get out, go go." Des yelled, catching Sam completely off guard.

Dropping the cup in his left hand, Sam turned back towards the door of the balcony just in time to catch the frightened expression on Di's face.

The next moment the whole top floor exploded into flames...

**POINTING FINGERS**

Sam Harker was a good cop.

He worked hard, he was honest and everyone loved his mild sense of humour.

When the station exploded, he became one of its victims.

Sam died with a secret on his lips; he knew who'd thrown the petrol bomb that killed 6 officers and injured a few more.

What if Sam hadn't died though?

What if he'd made it through the days in his hospital bed and was able to carry on just as before with a single image scarred in his mind?

The face of the man who threw the bomb...

Would he tell who did it?

Would he point fingers?

**A/N 2: **I call this 'Pointing Fingers' version 2. The original was a lot more novice than this. I like to think it was because it was written when I was 15, but probably more because **I** was such a novice back then. Hopefully this paints the picture a little better for you and helps you appreciate just how much I loved Sam Harker. *tear* RIP Sam!


	2. Will He Be Okay

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'The Bill' or Sam Harker.... Rats.

**POINTING FINGERS**

Chapter One:  
Will He Be Okay?

The machine sitting nearby beeped out a rhythm as Cass Rickman sat beside the bed and watched his every breath. She'd been keeping a vigil since the explosion. That night had already taken three of Cass's friends, and two other colleagues so she was pretty adamant she wasn't going to let it take Sam too.

"Sam, please wake up. You always looked out for me. Please Sam. Please." As she spoke she didn't notice the tears coming down her cheeks. Sam didn't even twitch.

She turned as she heard a knock behind her. "PC Rickman, it's after visiting hours." Said the young nurse standing in the doorway.

Cass nodded. "Nurse, can I ask, will he be okay?"

The nurse gave her a sad smile "I'm sorry PC Rickman, I really couldn't tell you that."

Cass understood, so giving the girl and Sam one last smile she walked slowly out the door, head low.

*

Three days later she was still there.

She'd been let off work where the inconsiderate fools at Scotland Yard had already begun sending in new recruits as 'replacements.' After filling him in on their new troops, elaborate stories and descriptions accompanying each name, she tried once again to get him to come around with a story about something they'd done together, whether it was a trip or an arrest or anything else. Sometimes, if she looked hard enough, she was sure she could see Sam's eyes moving beneath his eyelids and she took that as his sign that he was listening. But most of the time, she knew, it was little more than her imagination. This time, however, the sign was a lot clearer. Sam's breathing got faster. She raised an eyebrow.

"NURSE!" She called. A nurse came hurrying in. "Is this right?" Cass pointed as Sam's BP got higher.

The nurse's eyes widened. "CALL A DOCTOR." She called into the hall before grabbing Cass's arm. "Time to go PC Rickman." Cass looked over at Sam.

"What's happening?" She asked as Sam started to twitch.

"Relapse. The doctor will help him." Cass nodded before pulling herself from the nurse's arms and practically ushering herself out the door. The cop in her knew she had to stay out of the way, but the best friend in her wanted nothing more than to be there and make sure he was okay. In the end she forced herself to take a seat where she dropped her head in her hands and said a silent prayer.

'God, if you're there. Please, an officer needs help. You've taken five already lord. No more. Sun Hill needs Sam here. I need Sam here.' A hand touched Cass's back and she jumped slightly. June Ackland sat down and looked over at Cass.

"Are you okay?" She asked before handing Cass a coffee.

Cass took a sip then nodded. "Mhm. Sam, he's had a relapse. The doctors in there now with him." Cass noticed her hands were shaking and put down the coffee, interlacing her fingers and glaring at them like they were doing something wrong.

June smiled warmly. "No need to worry. He's in good hands. PC Harker is stronger than he looks."

Cass smiled sadly. "Yeah, I've seen that." She remembered when Sam had convinced her to stay in Sun Hill instead of going to see her boyfriend. She hadn't listened and soon regretted it when her boyfriend had pulled a gun on her. Of course, Sam had burst in at the last moment and jumped the guy before making sure she was okay. He'd looked out for her a lot and Cass knew he was the big brother she'd never had before. "Will he be okay June? Really?" She realised she sounded like those victim's loved ones she'd often brought to the hospital but she didn't mind. June had always been like a mother to everyone in the force anyway.

June looked to the ground. "We'll have to wait and see Cass." She glanced at her watch. "It's getting late. Do you want a lift home?" Cass shook her head.

"I'll be okay." June nodded then stood and left. Cass looked over at Sam's room. "You better be okay."


	3. Back At Work

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own 'The Bill.' I'm working on it though...

**POINTING FINGERS**

Chapter Two  
Back At Work

Cass sighed over her coffee.

Although June had tried to let her off, the Inspector had insisted that she return to work. That she'd already had too many days off.

"Cass?" A friendly voice asked. Cass looked up at Nick Klein who was standing over her. She returned her eyes to her coffee.

"What?" She asked, harsher than usual.

"We just got a call-out. You coming?"

Cass shook her head. "Not in the mood."

Nick sat down. "Look, I know..." He was cut off by the radio on his shoulder.

"Anyone to attend a disturbance at 34 Canley Way." Polly's voice came over the radio.

An officer Cass didn't know took it. "416 and 365, we'll take it."

Cass burst into tears. "They've given away his call sign. It's like he's already gone." Shaking her head she glared at the radio. "He'd not dead yet."

*

Des Taviner rubbed a hand over his bald head as he watched Cass from a table nearby. He watched Nick stand up and leave without Cass and he moved in.

"Hey Cass." He said calmly.

Cass looked up and smiled slowly, the hint of tears in her eyes. "Hey Des. It's great to see you, just to talk to someone who understands..." She trailed off.

Des nodded. "The explosion?" He asked.

Cass nodded in reply. "It's the talk of the town isn't it?"

Des put his hand on her shoulder. "Well, whenever you need to talk about anything..." He was cut off.

"Um, will you take me to the hospital? I need to see Sam."

Des's eyes widened a little but then he closed them quickly and nodded. "Course. I'll take you." He plastered on a fake smile.

*

"Sam? Can you hear us?" Cass asked Sam's barely alive form. "Well, it's Cass and Des. We came to see how you were going...well, not really going just kinda staying." She smiled sadly then glanced up at Des. "Ah, do you want to talk to him?" Des shrugged. Cass stood up and went to the end of the bed.

"Hey mate." Des said sitting down where Cass had just been. "Ah, when you wake up we have quite a bit to talk about..." He trailed off. "You know, about how much I'll have to put you back in a coma because you made the darling Cass Rickman cry. It's a cardinal sin that is." Des sighed. "Look, we're all tryin' to find the person that did this to you mate." He smacked his hand down on the edge of the bed. "Anytime ya wanna tell us."

Cass licked her lips. "I'm going to get a tea. You want one?" She asked.

Des nodded with a smile. "Yeah, we might be here a while."

Cass headed out of the room. As she turned the corner Des looked back at Sam then glanced around the room making sure that no one was around. "Look Harker." He said, his voice lowering to a sinister whisper and the smile wiping from his face with as much fluency as it had come. "The last thing that needs to happen is for me to get caught. I know you saw me and if you do wake up, I'll make sure you never talk. Just move on buddy, you'll be happier there." He glanced up at Sam's blood pressure and watched it get faster. His eyes widened slightly, the insane thought that maybe Sam had listened and was following orders crossing his mind for a second, then reality hit home and he went to the door. "Doctor. Something's happening here." He yelled into the hall. Two doctors and three nurses came running and bustled Des out of the way. He was pushed to the back of the room as they leant over him, one coughing and one saying something then lifting what appeared to be a long clear tube away from Sam. Des realised it had been the tube that supplied him with his oxygen and frowned. Then, as quickly as they had come in and surrounded Sam, they stopped and one nurse turned and smiled.

"Are you a friend of Mr Harker?" She asked Des as the doctors left.

"Work mate." Des said quickly, trying to see past the nurse.

"Well, we have some good news. He's conscious."


	4. He's Alive

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'The Bill'. Wish I did though._  
_

**POINTING FINGERS**

Chapter Three:  
He's Alive!

Cass nearly dropped the teas as Des hurried past her. "Des, where are you going?" She called after him. But didn't reply, just rushing through the hospital doors and out of sight. She shrugged and carried the teas back to the room where a nurse was leaning over Sam. Seeing her and assuming the worst, she put the cups down. "Is he okay?" She asked, walking around the other side of the bed and trying to see him. She was aware her tone had risen, but she didn't care.

Then Sam's eyes slowly opened and he grinned slightly. "Never felt worse actually." He groaned, his voice raspy.

Cass broke into a wide grin. "I can't believe it." She threw her arms around his neck.

"I can't believe you're choking me already." Sam coughed out.

Cass pulled away. "Sorry." She said softly.

Sam smiled. "It's fine."

"You've had quite a few visitors since the accident."

Sam smiled then looked away.

"What happened? The last thing I remember seeing was him throw the petrol bomb..." He trailed off.

"Who?" Cass asked, taking a seat. Neither of them had noticed the nurse leave, too caught up in each other. Sam couldn't take his eyes off Cass, surprised and happy that she was waiting for him to wake up. Cass, in typical cop mode, wanted nothing more than to figure out who was behind this. "Who threw it? He caused an explosion that killed 5 officers..." Realising she was beginning to get a bit frantic Cass quickly calmed herself down.

"Killed 5 officers? Who?"

Cass counted them off on her fingers. "Monroe, Paul, Ben, Kate Spears and Di." Sam sighed and looked away. "There were gas canisters inside the building. The petrol bomb hit them..." Sam shook his head silently. "If you know who did it Sam..." Cass whispered, leaning towards him.

Sam nodded. "I know who did it. I can't tell you." Cass grabbed his hand. He looked back towards her. "If he knows that you know he'll come after you. I can't do that." He said slowly before closing his eyes.

Cass let go of his hand. "Fine, I'll have to find out myself."

But Sam had already gone back to sleep and didn't hear her storm out.

*

"Harker's awake." Des told Reg back at the station.

Reg grinned. "Excellent, I'll have to go see him." He smiled, grabbing his tea off the woman behind the counter with a smile. Des looked away. "What is it?" Reg asked, holding out a tea to Des. He frowned when Des didn't take and softly shoved it into his hand.

"It's about the explosion. I have to tell you something."

A call came through the radio and Reg took it. Des woke up from his trance.  
"I'll tell you in the car."

*

"You did what?"

"I threw the petrol bomb that blew up the station."

"Really?" Reg could barely believe what he'd just heard.

Des nodded sadly. "I was trying to get rid of some counterfeit money. I didn't know there were gas canisters in there."

Reg looked out the window. "I can't believe what I'm hearing." He said, staring out the front window, completely unable to meet Des' eye despite the fact his friend sounded remorseful.

"It gets worse. He saw me throw it."

Reg looked back at Des. "Who did?"

"Sam Harker. He saw me throw it. I'm dead."


	5. Out and About

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own The Bill… damn

**POINTING FINGERS**

Chapter Four:  
Out and About

"I'm fine nurse." Sam groaned at the nurse rushing around him nearby. She stopped and smiled at him.

"Yes, I know you are Mr. Harker, but it's my job to be a pain."

Sam waved a hand lazily. "Well, in that case, please continue." He pulled a buttoned shirt over his t-shirt as the nurse grabbed the clipboard at the end of his bed and left at double time. Sam raised his eyebrows with a grin and shook his head. As he pushed himself up from the bed, he grabbed a bag of belongings Nick Klein had dropped off for him the day before. It was good to be out of bed. Very good.

It had been a week since Cass had rushed out on him, determined to find out who had caused all this trouble. Sam was still hoping she hadn't come across anything, thinking about finding her as soon as he got out of here and spin her some line about wanting to move on, when a voice came from the door. "Hey buddy." Nick leant on the doorframe to Sam's private room.

Sam smiled. "Come to give me a lift back to work?"

Nick lowered an eyebrow. "You sure you want to go back there already?" Sam realised then that Cass had told him Sam knew who the arsonist was.

"Nick, really, I'm not going to track him down and kill him or anything." Sam sighed.

Nick nodded. "I know mate, it's just that, really, should you be working after all this?" He motioned to the contraptions Sam had been hooked up to.

Sam shrugged. "Why not? It's not as if I've been doing anything for the last week and a half anyway."

But Nick stood his ground. "I'll give you a lift home."

"Okay," Sam shrugged. "But if you take me home I'll just walk to work."

Nick frowned and shook his head, but it was light-hearted. "You're a bloody brick wall aren't you Harker?" Nick grabbed Sam's bag off him and the two of them left the hospital.

*

For some reason pushing open the canteen doors became a big thing for him. It wasn't as if the canteen were any different. The fire hadn't touched this part of the station. And the doors weren't any different – still the same peeling blue paint. No, instead he was different and he knew perfectly well what would await him on the other side.

The lady at the front desk had greeted Sam with a smile as he and Nick had entered, giving him a warm hello and telling him everyone was in the canteen and would love to see him. He left with absolutely no idea of who she was or how she'd known him. She was obviously one of the replacements.

Before the fire Sam had spent hours at that desk, wishing he could spend more time on the beat with his friends. He knew he'd probably be there again for at least the next few weeks or so. Either that or CAD. He wouldn't be allowed to patrol for a while now, not until they were certain he'd fully recovered. They probably thought he'd be trying to find the man that had tried to kill him.

Sam knew exactly where he was…

Placing one hand on the canteen door and taking a deep breath, Sam pushed it open with a slightly shaking hand. To anyone seeing him then he looked a lot like the PC Sam Harker they knew. Underneath this though was a confused, angry and disappointed man.

What would cause an officer to throw a petrol bomb into a full station?

It was the question that had plagued him since he'd awoken and he was certain he'd been thinking it before that. This was Des Taviner, the man that had, not long before the explosion, broken into tears after facing the woman that had stabbed SPC Knowles. What would cause him to make such a terrible decision? Do such a thing?

Sam shook the thoughts away and forced a smile as the faces in the room turned to him. Jim Carver was the first to speak; everyone else's faces blank with discomfort. He didn't blame them. What could they say? 'Hey, how was the coma?'

"Welcome back." Jim smiled.

Sam couldn't help but return it. Even after all that had happened, Sun Hill was pretty much the same place it had always been.

Not even Des Taviner could take that away…

*

"Didn't expect you back so soon." A voice said from behind Sam as he headed down the hall to see Gilmore.

Sam turned slowly. "Upset you didn't finish me off before?" Sam sneered right into Des' face.

Des glanced around to make sure there was no one around to hear what he was about to say, and then leant in slowly. "Watch your back Harker." He snarled, pushing himself right up into Sam's face in an attempt to scare him. Sam didn't move a muscle and just glared straight back at him, his face expressionless.

"Done?" He asked calmly, his gaze continuing to bore directly through Des.

The man realised Sam wasn't about to crack anytime soon and took a step back. "You might think you're tough Harker, but you're just a kid." Sam raised his eyebrows as Des continued. "Very soon you'll regret coming out of that coma. You'll start wishing y…"

He stopped as Cass turned the corner and came into sight, walking towards them. Her brow furrowed and Sam realised why. Des was still staring daggers at him. Sam smiled and laughed. "Nice look Des. I'd be scared too if you did that one to me." He glanced up at Cass like he hadn't noticed her before. "Oh, hi Cass." He grinned, his comment an attempt at off-handed as she stepped up beside him. Des had turned away.

"What's going on?" She asked calmly, looking at Des' retreating form.

"Oh, Des just came to welcome me back. Lovely fella really." Sam just grinned and moved off, continuing down the hall towards Gilmore's office, leaving Cass standing in the middle watching the two men's backs.

And somewhere inside her Cass felt like the damsel in a bushranger story, just waiting for the two men to turn and draw their guns…


	6. Nightmares

**Disclaimer: **'The Bill' is the property of iTV and Talkback Thames

**POINTING FINGERS**

**  
**Chapter Five:  
Nightmares

Cass Rickman, dressed in rumpled civvies and looking a mess with tears running down her cheeks, pushed open the front door to the station. She walked like a woman possessed, still in a state of shock. Everything she had feared, everything she had worried about, had finally happened. The one thing she believed would always be there was gone. Her rock was gone.

The woman at the front desk looked up at her with a sigh. She knew. Cass silently wondered who else knew. The man that had done this to her? The person responsible for her pain? "Sit down dear, I'll get you a coffee." The front desk woman's voice broke Cass' thoughts and she knew coffee wouldn't suffice.

"Get Nick." She took a seat in the front office, her head falling into her hands as she did. Cass looked up a minute later as a shadow fell over her.

"Cass?" The voice asked. She stood and fell into the man's arms, burying her face into his shoulder. Nick stroked her hair.

"He's dead." She sobbed the words out with laboured breaths. "He's really gone."

"It'll be okay." Nick cooed, the words an attempt to sooth the anguished PC.

"No, it won't. How can it be okay?" She stepped back, glaring daggers at Nick like he'd just insulted her.

"I'm here."

She pulled away from him, shaking her head. "It's not enough…"

*

Cass sat up in bed in a cold sweat and glanced around the darkened room, her eyes pausing for a second on the red glow of her digital alarm clock. It was 2am.

The dream hung about her still. The fear. Her cheeks wet with tears, Cass realised she'd been crying for real and she wiped them with the back of her hand before pinching herself into submission, talking herself back from another panic attack.

'Only a dream. He didn't die. It's only a dream. He's okay…'

She fell back against the pillow, repeating the sentence over again.

"He's still alive." She spoke aloud to the dark room. It was her last comforting thought before she went back to sleep.

*

Sam couldn't sleep.

His ribs ached every time he tried to lie down.

Instead he stayed sitting at the kitchen table, the combination of harsh light and hot coffee making his eyes water. He was so tired, but he was also happy. He'd spoken to Gilmore who told him that he'd be at CAD until the doctor said he was fine to return to the beat. Sam didn't mind CAD, it was better than the front desk, and it was only his ribs that needed time.

Glancing at the clock he took a sip of coffee. It was a little after 3.

Sam sighed, wondering how long the ribs would need. He missed his job. It helped him take his mind off what had got him to this moment in the first place.

*

"Sun Hill Police, what's the situation?" Sam spoke into the headset, typing the details into the computer. It had already read the address from the BT telephone and had bought up the address as 94a Turner Avenue, Canley. Owner Mr. R. Crawford. The woman on the headset mentioned fighting coming from the neighbour's place. "Okay ma'am, we'll be right there." He hung up and flicked over to the radio.

"Disturbance at 92 Turner Avenue. Any units deal?"

Within 30 seconds there came a reply. "We're 5 minutes away Sam, we'll attend."

"Thanks Dave." Sam turned to the computer. 'Show Sierra 1 dealing' he typed in.

Just as he made to take another call, a voice came from the doorway and Sam glanced up at the sound of his name. "Harker." He took off his headset with a smile. It was Sgt. Boyden. "Take five minutes Sam. There's nothing going on here."

Sam frowned at the ringing phone and guessed Matthew had been asked by Gilmore to give him time. But he didn't want time, he wanted to work. "Sir, I…"

He was interrupted. "Harker, now!" Boyden glared and Sam gave in.

"Yes sarge." Sam pushed himself from his desk and walked from the room with a glance back at the other officers in the room. None of them met his eye.

*

Sam pushed open the doors to the cafeteria and headed straight for the coffee. As he finished paying for it (mostly in small change fished from his pockets), he turned and noticed Cass sitting alone. He gave a small smile and made to join her, putting his coffee down in front of her and waving a hand in her face when she continued to stare off into the distance. "Anyone home?" He teased.

Cass snapped out of her trance and looked up. "What? Oh, it's you Sam." She gave a small smile.

Sam sat down. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." Cass shook her head before finding her empty teacup very interesting.

Sam lowered an eyebrow and leant forward. "You're not still thinking about the fire are you?"

Cass shook her head. "No, no, a dream I had last night."

Sam beamed, leaning back into his chair. "Typical Cass."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She grinned.

Sam held up his hands in surrender. "Nothing, nothing at all ma'am." Cass just smiled.

*

Sam rubbed his tired eyes and walked slowly back to the change rooms. It had been a long day and the lack of sleep had only made it harder. He was almost certain it would've been easier to deal with had he been on patrol, but decided not to say this to anyone. They'd just start giving him the 'you're not ready yet' speech and that was just a pain in the backside.

"Sam! I haven't had a chance to welcome you back." June's voice caught his attention and he looked up at her smiling face. He smiled back. June had always been nice to him. She was nice to everyone. That was just June.

"Well, you have now. How have you been?" He asked offhandedly.

"Good good. How are you healing up?"

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, not bad."

June furrowed her brow, realising Sam wasn't telling her the whole truth. "What's on your mind Sam?" She asked, putting on her 'mother' expression.

Sam just shook his head. "Nothing. Really." He motioned past her, back down the hall. "I better get going."

June nodded, stepping aside to let him pass. "You know where to find me if you need to talk."

Sam nodded back then stepped past, walking away. He didn't know if he really wanted to talk right now. Plus, what could he say?

'I can't sleep, I just keep seeing Des blow up the station…'


	7. More Than A Game

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sam Harker or The Bill. Or Des. Or stupid little Cass Rickman. Or N… I'll stop now.

It's my birthday and I'll update if I want to…

Chapter Six;_  
_More Than A Game

"Sam?"

Sam turned and smiled at the figure standing before him. "Yeah?"

Cass didn't hide the frown on her face. "It's today."

"What's today?"

"The funeral."

Sam nodded slowly. "I know. I think I tried to forget."

Cass looked to the ground. "No one is expecting you to come you know?"

"I know." Sam sighed. Cass fiddled with a button. "I am coming though."

She looked up at him quickly. "You don't have to, I was just… no, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Sam shrugged. "I knew anyway. I've got to pay my respects. Talk to the families. I was the last to see some of them."

Cass frowned. "Well, Des is giving a talk so maybe you won't be..."

"Des Taviner is giving a talk?"

Cass nodded. "He was the one that... well, he was the hero figure for a while there. I think it's kinda died down now cause you lived."

Sam nodded slowly. "That should be interesting to watch," he muttered softly.

"Why?" Cass asked.

"Nothing nothing." Sam turned away.

Cass grabbed his arm. "I'm not stupid Sam, you think I haven't noticed how you've been acting towards him? Tell me truthfully, was he the one?" Sam glanced down the empty corridor then nodded quickly. "They've got someone in custody, that cleaner. He planted the gas cylinders..."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe it was some team effort or something," he said spitefully.

"I'm sure he wasn't trying to kill them." Cass said softly. She'd had an idea for a while now that Des had had something to do with it but now it was confirmed it was so much harder to understand.

"Probably not, but he did." Sam replied. He shook off Cass' arm and walked quickly down the corridor and out of sight.

*

"We're here today to remember PCs Ben Hayward and Diana Worrell, Inspector Andrew Monroe and DCs Kate Spears and Paul Riley who were all tragically killed in the explosion..."

Sam cast his eyes over the crowd and allowed them to stop on Des Taviner. He was standing beside the minister and was shuffling his feet uncomfortably. 'How dare he...' Sam thought.

"Sam, the DCI wants you." Polly said quietly beside him. Sam turned to look at the DCI.

"Sam, you should be up there." DCI Jack Meadows said, an unreadable look across his face.

Sam just shook his head. "I couldn't sir. Too many memories I'm trying to forget."

Jack nodded with a reassuring smile. "I can understand that." He leaned back and Sam returned his attention to the front where the minister was introducing Des. He received a round of applause. Only Sam and Cass weren't clapping.

"Well, I can't really say too much. I know you all think I'm some sort of hero but I'm not. I'm just a cop doing my job and I know if anyone else had been in my situation they would've done the same thing..." He was cut off as Cass stood up.

"I don't think so Des. You really are one of a kind."

Des saw the anger in her face and knew she knew the truth. No one else noticed except Sam. "Uhh, thanks Cass," Des stuttered. He looked over at Sam who raised his eyebrows.

"You really are a special kind of person Des, really. Does everyone know how fabulous Des is?" Nick Klein, who was seated beside her, pulled her down as he noticed tears beginning to form on her cheeks.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"Nothing." Cass said too quickly. She stood up and left. Sam looked at Des, then at Cass then followed her from the church. He glanced around the church grounds and saw her leaning against a tree by the roadside. He headed over towards her.

"What was that all about?" he asked, unaware he was mirroring exactly what Nick had just asked and just what sort of reaction it would trigger in the worked-up WPC.

"I couldn't stand hearing him talk like he was some kind of god or something. In a church too!"

Sam nodded. "He'll get what he deserves..."

Cass turned to look at him, disgust written across her expression. "Why don't you just do something then? You've always been like this. Too bloody nice." She moved quickly to her car and drove away without a word, leaving Sam watching her go and feeling history repeat itself.

*

"Nice guys finish last Harker. They always do."

Sam turned and frowned at the figure. "Still lurking you viper?"

Des held up his hands in mock surrender. "Ow, that hurt."

"Not as much as the truth will when it gets out." Sam retorted.

"You wouldn't dare, neither would your little girlfriend. You know perfectly well what I'd do. I could squash you like a bug." He even imitated the threat, pressing his hands together in a warning.

Sam didn't care. "You don't scare me Des," he replied calmly.

"No, but Cass scares you doesn't she? That happens when you fall for someone doesn't it?"

Sam's cockiness was lost. He wouldn't, would he? Somehow he knew he would. "Don't you dare touch her..."

"Or what?" Des smirked.

Sam turned away from him. "I'm not playing your game Taviner." He started to walk back towards the church and the mass of people when Des' voice caught up after him.

"More than a game Sam my boy... more than a game."


	8. Revelations and Revisits

**Disclaimer: **I don't own 'The Bill' or Sam, no matter how much that would rule if I did!

Chapter Seven;  
Revelations and Re-visits

_Two weeks later…_

"Happy to be back on the job?" Cass asked Sam as he sat down across from her in the canteen.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it's good." He straightened his uniform subconsciously and glanced down at the call sign on his shoulder. The bright silver 416 glared back up at him.

They were silent for a moment before Cass tipped her head slightly. "Want to say something?" Years of practice had taught Cass how to identify when someone had something to say.

"I have to ask you something, tell you something… a little bit of everything actually." He stirred a second sugar into his tea.

Cass frowned and nodded slowly. "Okay."

Sam looked up at her. "That night," she lowered her eyes but didn't say anything, even though he could tell she knew what he was about to ask. "Why did you react like that?" She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out so Sam continued. "You know perfectly well that I wouldn't have done anything you didn't want me to."

Cass just gave a shrug, more to avoid a response than anything else. "I don't know what I thought. I was drunk. I didn't mean what I said."

Sam closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, then frowned. "No, no when someone's drunk the truth is easier to say. So what was it, really?"

Cass pushed back her chair, dismissing the questions. "I'm not re-living this Sam."

Sam pushed back his own chair and followed her as she attempted to evade him by leaving the canteen in double time. "Yes you are, now tell me." He grabbed her arm and spun her around. Cass looked down at his grip, surprised by his quick burst of anger.

"Disturbance at 47 Harbour Avenue. Anyone to attend?" The radio crackled on Cass' shoulder and she grabbed at it with her free hand, not breaking Sam's gaze as she responded to it. "Sierra 1 to respond Brian." She put down the radio slowly as Brian's voice came back over it from CAD.

"Thanks Cass."

Then Cass shook off Sam's hand with a rough jolt. "We'll talk later. Right now we've got a job to do."

*

The woman slammed the front door hard just as Cass and Sam pushed open her front gate. The man in the small front garden, looking no older than Sam, turned to look at them. His eyes widened as they fell upon the uniforms. "She called the cops?"

Sam ignored the rhetorical question and went to the front door just in time to catch the woman throwing a vase from the open second storey window. It smashed at Cass' feet and the PC looked down at it blankly.

"Tell your mother I hated it, truthfully." The woman's head disappeared from the window after she yelled through it. Sam raised his hand to the door and knocked over yells from the man on the front yard.

"Ma'am, it's the police," he called in.

The door swung open forcefully and Sam took a step back in reaction. "Come in," the woman said calmly, a strange comparison to her face that was etched with hate for the man in her front garden. Sam followed her inside while Cass began trying to calm down the man outside.

"You called us ma'am?" Sam asked as she led him into the front lounge room. Belongings were scattered all over the lounges and armchairs like she'd been rifling through her stuff to see which ones would be perfect for throwing or, as the box of matches on the dressing table suggested, later burning. Through the front windows Sam could just make out Cass and the man now arguing.

The woman nodded. "That man, my ex-husband, has been attacking my friends. He came around here demanding back the house and all the contents."

Sam jotted down the details in his notebook. "Okay, anything else Mrs…" he realised he didn't have her name.

"Ms. Anderson. Yes, a few of my friends have insisted he'd been following them."

Sam nodded slowly. "Okay."

Meanwhile, outside, Cass was receiving the other half of the story.

"She's been calling my house and my mother, telling my girlfriend that I'm a pig and that I'll cheat on her. But we broke up because I caught her with someone else." He turned to the house. "Dirty cow!"

Cass held up her hands to try and calm him down. "Okay, I think you need to take a breath sir. How about we go talk about this at the station?"

The man shrugged. "Fine." Cass led him to the car and shut him in the back seat before starting back to the house just as Sam emerged.

"Harassment?" he asked Cass.

She nodded in reply. "Yeah, but on whose part?" Sam got in the driver's seat, glancing back at the man behind him as he started up the car. Five minutes from the station he looked back at Cass who was quietly staring straight ahead.

"We have to talk about earlier."

Cass didn't even look at him. "Not here." Sam turned his attention back to the road.

*

After the interviews were over and all statements were written up, Sam led the man, going by the name of Ryan Peters, to the doors of the station and let him go. It wasn't long after 3pm but Sam felt deathly tired and he rubbed at his eyes. As he pulled his hands away and headed back towards the canteen he started to feel weaker than usual and spots started to swim before his eyes. He closed his eyes for a moment to regain composure and then kept walking. But as he pushed open the canteen door the spots came back. The next minute his mind went blank and just before it happened he knew what was coming. He was losing consciousness. He didn't feel himself hit the floor…


	9. Some Things

**Disclaimer: **DON'T DIE SAM! DON'T DIE! LEAVE THE STATION, GO TO THE PUB WITH THE OTHERS, JUST PLEASE DON'T DIE!

Okay, I'm good. I don't own The Bill!

Chapter Eight;  
Some Things

Cass frowned.

She hated being here.

It was the memory of all the hours she'd spent here before: the baited breath every time something changed, the continuous beep whoosh of the machines, the prayers going over and over in her head like some badly scratched '45. She'd hated every stinking minute of it and had vowed never to return if she could help it. Alas fate had drawn her back not only to St Hugh's but also back to the bedside of her best friend.

She stared at his closed eyelids with furrowed brow and the words sitting patiently on her lips – 'wake up damn it!'

It had been an hour since she'd been informed Sam had been taken to the hospital. She'd been hiding in the writing room when it happened, half writing up her report of the Ryan Peters incident and half pretending she wasn't avoiding her best friend. Of course when she found out that Sam had passed out on the canteen floor she was quickly filled with a mix of both horror and guilt, something that made her commandeer a Panda and race away from the station at the kind of speed Inspectors frowned upon, but she'd deal with the consequences later because for now she needed to know Sam was alright. When she'd finally made it to the hospital she hurriedly parked the car then rushed to the reception desk with complete disregard for others waiting nearby, grabbing the chart beside the nurse's desk that told them what bed patients were in, scanned for Sam then rushed off to the Emergency area without a word to the bemused blonde nurse manning the Triage.

Finding Sam asleep but perfectly fine didn't stop her worrying though – he still hadn't woken up. She needed to hear him say he was fine.

Surely she at least deserved that?

Cass bit her fingernails. Okay, maybe she didn't deserve that, she was hiding a lot from Sam and she had let him down more than once just this year. It felt like ages since they'd last talked without it going into that weird 'why won't you be with me' mode that Sam always seemed to drag it into. Cass knew she couldn't blame him but she still wished he'd never confessed to having feelings for her. None of this would've happened if he'd just kept the whole thing quiet.

But that wasn't Sam. Sweet, honest, friendly Sam who never thought badly of anyone, even when he knew they were.

No one deserved what he'd gone through, but he even less. Cass had once believed in karma, but no longer, because if karma were true then why did bad things happen to good people like Sam?

"You look deep in thought." A gruff voice broke Cass' thoughts and she glanced up to find Sam watching her, smiling bravely through his rather obvious pain. "Don't hurt yourself."

She momentarily wanted to hurt him actually. "You're not funny. You know how scared I was when I was told you were back here?"

He smiled softly. "Sorry."

Cass' anger slipped away. Typical Sam. Why was it he could always make her feel better about things? Why could she never really stay mad at him? "It's fine. I'm starting to become a regular. They're considering giving me 'frequent visitor points'. Reach 1,000 and I can trade it in for a complimentary bed pan."

Sam laughed. "That was ridiculous." Cass shrugged, her smile fading slowly. Sam reached for her hand as he noticed it, but she was too far out of reach. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She sighed. "Nothing, I just, I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For the way I acted that night. It's the reason you're here." She glanced up quickly as if trying to assess his response. When she saw his frown her head ducked again.

"The reason I'm here is my own foolishness." Sam frowned; unaware before that Cass had been blaming herself. The last thing he wanted was this. "I badgered you all the time, never gave it a rest."

Cass found a new interest in her nails. "Why would you keep asking me Sam? I'm not worth all this attention; you just have to look at the men I've been with. Prime example is Leroy Jones!"

Sam looked away. "It seems pretty stupid to admit it now, I guess I've woken up to myself, given up as they say but…"

Cass smiled softly. "It's okay, you did confess you liked me so I did know why." She caught his eye but was surprised when he didn't hold her gaze. The coming confession explained why.

"I didn't just like you Cass. I loved you."

She wouldn't be able to explain then why she did it, nor could she explain it later, but that admission set one thing off in Cass' mind – fight or flight. She stood and left the room even quicker than she'd come in.

* * *

Back on duty after explaining to the Inspector exactly why she'd practically stolen a police car and having been given a 'I understand but don't ever do it again' by him, Cass was sent back to work alongside the new guy Gary Best. Gary was young, loud and boyish but had many redeeming qualities that led Cass to deem him a good friend. He listened when she needed him to and offered lifts to the hospital now Gilmore had assured her she was not touching a police car for at least the next week, an offer which Cass had refused with a somewhat exaggerated sigh. A sigh that left Gary wanting answers desperately.

He bugged her for three whole days before Cass gave up and admitted she was avoiding the hospital and Sam. She left it at that, until the night Tony Stamp told her Sam was being released the next morning and wanted to know if she was coming by to help him check out. She'd smiled it off saying she was on duty and that he should tell Sam she'd call by, but Gary saw right through it and when they retired for refs had called her up on it.

"You don't have a shift tomorrow."

Cass glanced up over her tea. "Tell Tony and I'll kill you." Gary held up his hands in mock surrender, a move that would've made anyone else smile, but Cass felt too low to even crack one. "How can I tell him?"

"Tell who what?" Gary had just discovered Cass' discarded bread roll and was now eyeing it off. She pushed it toward him lazily.

"Tell Sam about Simon."

Simon Kitson – Cass' new boyfriend. He was a journalist with the local paper, an up-and-coming who worked long hours and was more than dedicated to his job. Cass respected that and found him a treat to be with. His only downside was his overprotective sister Kit, but then everyone had their troubles.

Gary shrugged. "I don't know. You could try the honest – 'Hey Sam, how's it going? Sorry I haven't been to see you lately but I got a little freaked out when you told me you loved me. By the way, have you met my new boyfriend Simon?'. Then again, that does sound a little harsh."

"Really, I didn't notice." Cass rested her cheek on her fist glumly.

"I don't know." Gary tried. "Maybe you should explain why you got so freaked out and ran away in the first place."

Cass slumped even more. "Good idea, only one problem – I have no idea why I did it."


End file.
